What If There Is No God?

This is Obviously a stupid question or argument. It’s common sense, there exists a higher power. Every religion conforms to this belief as a basis of it’s existence. Despite thinking of God’s existence as common sense, there is still a certain percentage of the worlds population that think, God doesn’t exist. These people are refereed to as Atheists. A very distinctive name to the free thinkers. The thing is that it doesn’t matter. Beyond human understanding, exists a god. The fear of the unknown is what creates a need of a religion (my thoughts). Makes me think if the Atheists could be knowing a little too much or they are simply fools. The Holy Bible refers to nonbelievers as fools. I am not familiar with the teachings in other religions and could be careless in outlining some facts. That being said, I will restrict my focus to Christianity.

I would like to identify myself as a Christians for many reasons. Because I was born in a family that goes to church on Sunday. Because I have a Christian name and I read the Holy Bible occasionally. If you identify yourself as a Christian basing on the reasons given above, then  am not  talking about you. The term Christians was used to refer on those who were Christ like. It was only used to refer to those who imitated the life of Jesus Christ. Those that believed on him. These are the people I would like to refer to as Christians. Here goes the question: What if Christianity was not real? What if the resurrection was not real? What would Christians lose?

Answer: Here on Earth, NOTHING. I am confident of this answer. If you believe or have an idea of the teachings in Christianity, then you side with me. If you do not agree, then come and let us reason together. According to earthy understanding of happiness, one has to carelessly put his life on the edge to have ‘fun’. Let’s talk about Alcohol; how many times have you blamed your troubles on alcohol? Perhaps more than  you can remember or never. Are you aware of how many deaths have been caused by one not being in the right state of mind due to ingestion of alcohol? How about the damages caused by consumption of alcohol? They even state that; “Excessive consumption  of alcohol is harmful to your health!!” You might argue on the excessive part, have you ever asked yourself why they do not specify the exact quantity that is right for consumption? Why do they keep you guessing? Cigarettes, addictions, raves and any other kind of activity associated with “fun”. You might think that these things are meant for fun because you are under the condemnation of the world and its laws. Have you ever found a sound reason as to why people smoke? The Holy Bible teaches that a human body is the temple of the Lord and has to be kept holy and in good shape.

Christianity is not to be taken as a religion but as a way of life. Christianity as a lifestyle is kept at check by its pillars. These pillars are the fruits of the Holy spirit. The two laws given Jesus Christ summarizes all that there is for a better life. 1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. 2. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39). These are the two greatest commandments. What harm could it be to love your neighbors? Living a sober productive life free from any form of worldly enslavement is good for one’s life. Christianity teaches of how to live a long and fulfilled life and nothing less.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. This might seem as a common Bible verse but is the most powerful of them all. If I believe in the teachings of The holy Bible, then I believe on the death and Resurrection of the Christ and life after death.

There is no losing in Christianity. It is a win win situation. If there is no heaven after death, we have a small heaven here on earth that is defined by real love and fellowship.

Until then, I remain yours.

Dr. Musoosi

Imbalanced Financial Scale

Most of you have heard of a motivational story where one starts from zero to gold. One of the common story told (for those who have not heard it) proceeds like this: There lived a young man who heard of a job vacancy as a cleaner in an office. He decided to go in and try his luck. This young man impressed the HR and was being offered a job. As part of the employment procedure, one needed to fill a form that required personal details. One of the requirements was an email address and this young man did not have one. The manager told him that he couldn’t be hired because he didn’t have an email address. In that particular world, if you didn’t have an email then you didn’t exist. This young man left the office so discouraged and thought his world crushed. Following from the story, this young man had a $10 bill in his pocket. This story proceeds to tell us how he managed to buy and sell tomatoes from the supermarket and made a lot of profit. He goes on and starts a supply company that successfully runs the supply industry making him the big thing. When making one of his deals, he is required of an email address but he doesn’t have it. Surprised, his business partner asks, “do you know where you would be if you had an email address?” He responds, “an office cleaner.” Fascinating isn’t it?

I have dedicated a better part of my life as an educator and thus sworn to tell the truth. I hate to break this to you but it’s all a lie. As much as I would love to see you motivated and striving to achieve, I will not let you be deceived. Knowledge is power and by this motto I live. The above story would be useful if it didn’t hold back the necessary information.

Looking at the above story closely, there are a number of things that we notice.

• This young man had $10, no data is availed to disclose the source of his capital. From the story, it is correct to assume that he was an orphan with no relatives and didn’t have any source of income but somehow, he did manage $10?
• He bought Tomatoes and doubled his profits each round h did. The story assumes ready market and high demand of tomatoes. It also shows ignorance of the prevailing market prices by the consumers and laziness to go purchase the tomatoes from the market.
• We also notice a lack of government in this story. There is pure profits and no controlled market. The consumer is left for exploitation by the market forces.
• It is correct to assume that he was a robot that didn’t need food, shelter, medication and other basic needs. There is scarce or no information on how one starts with $10 and manages to support his lively hood with the profits and still maintain an attractive level of savings.

As you can see, there is completely zero probability of this story being true. You can see many other reasons to doubt this story and will not take much time to explain them to you.

From my previous article (How I made my 1^st million $$$ ), I tried to explain why your money will not make you rich. You also notice that I did discourage saving especially in countries that use unstable currencies. If you choose to save, then I advise that you open a saving account in US Dollars, English Pounds or Euros. If you have been following the stock exchange market, you will notice that the blow you are likely to suffer using one of these currencies is minimal. Simple reason being that they run the world economy and are used as a major units in determining a counties GDP.

Strategy is a key aspect in any kind of invention or investment. You have to know your market and find gaps that need filling. My next article on the same line will introduce you to simple methodologies of how to sport opportunities.

Until then, I remain yours truly,

The Mighty Dr. Musoosi

Curse of a Beautiful Woman

Her beauty is her major asset and yet her curse.She stares at the mirror with tears slowly filling her eyes. She wishes she could be dead but doesn’t have courage to do it. Something tells her it’s going to be alright. It fills her heart with hope, hope for a better day to come. This keeps her alive for one more day . All she has or achieved cannot be accredited to hard work. Even when she sweats, it’s a drip of honey. Tears keep her company in long showers. They are salty just like those of any other being. She lifts her head and faces directly at the shower. Perhaps it could drip salvation this one time. She lets it directly to her face, maybe the showers could wash away her memories. Bitter memories of guys who wanted to lay her to grant her success. She knew it was not the only way but she did it anyway. A fight against her horny seniors always got her losing almost everything. The guys who could help her had their sight narrowed to her pants. The women in charge dismissed her in the name of “her slutty” behavior. Their Jealousy ruin her life and so many others.

Two stripes appeared on the test Kit. She didn’t panic, no sign of the results could be read from her face. She remained calm and blank. “What are the results?” Inquired the medical personnel. “It reads positive.” She responded in a calm voice. She knew that she had the HIV virus and so was a large number of guys who slept with her to give what was rightly hers. It wasn’t going to kill her, that she was sure. Medical examinations had showed that she has closed cells and she only served as a carrier. The devils weapon of distraction. Her mother was dying and so was her father. Maybe the house girl had it too. Maybe the same courtesy was extended to the gardener or even the watchman. Maybe her two brothers and her sister were in the circle. Maybe, just maybe. If only her mother had listened! He was supposed to be her father. It hurts her too much and she hates men for that. Her mother warned her not to tell anyone on grounds of not tarnishing the family name. The same family was dead anyway. Maybe a few would remain if they kept their pants on.
He pins her hard on the bed as he concludes his intimate engagement. she doesn’t look at him. Her eyes are fixed on the mirror besides the bed. Plus one to her kills. One more she knows. She didn’t tell him to wear protection. It’s his life to save or to lose. His wife and concubines are welcome to join the circle. It doesn’t hunt her. He is paying for his sins with his blood. The remission of sin requires blood. This she learnt from her pastor. A man of god who is weak in flesh. He fell to the world just like other sinful men. She knows them by name and wrote them in a small book with a red hard cover. They were all victims of the flesh.
The waiter brings two more beers on her her table. She doesn’t recall asking for more and looks at the waiter curiously. He smiles and points at a guy seated at the far right corner who waves in acknowledgement. He is drinking a soda, neither does he look like a drinker. Maybe he gets ladies drunk and take them to bed to do his bidding. It doesn’t bother her, she has nothing to lose. He takes his glass and a half empty soda bottle and proceeds to join her. She looks at the bottle and occasionally looks side ways. He smiles and she takes very short intervals looking at him. Not that shy look from innocent ladies. Seems like she doesn’t want to remember his face so that it doesn’t hunt her when he is gone. “I am Rev. Geoffrey Mulyawita,” he breaks the silence while extending his hand to shake hers. She doesn’t say anything and leaves his hand hanging in the air. He draws back his hand and moves slightly to sit directly opposite to her. She lifts her head and notices the collar. Confusion fills her face and she seems lost. she doesn’t seem to find herself.
She had judged him wrongly. He wasn’t the type that wanted to take her to bed. This she was sure. She saw the concern on his face and something like a sword with two sharp edges cut through her heart. She started crying, not the tears of venges but those of remorse. he held her hand and stated that he was passing by and something that he cannot explain led him to take a soda in this particular pub. Now he understood why as she narrated her story. The two left the filthy pub that evening with the same goal in mind that is to give her a second chance in life.
As I tell this story, there is clearly one question in mind. Is it an everyday story to a listening ear or will it some how impact someone to make a change? I refuse to be a part of a cartel that ruins ones dreams for personal gains. I rest my case.

How I Made My 1st Million $$$

Money talks, I heard it say goodbye. This is a common definitive phrase to many poor beings. If you are reading this, then there is a question of financial stability in your life. If you are financially stable, then we can blame it on curiosity or rather, greed.  As a Christian that I am, the 1st thing that would be expected of me is to get you on your knees and do the obvious. You dirty mind, I mentioned “Christian” and who said it has to be a lady. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by your loud thinking, get you on your knees and pray for you. I would put my warm hands on your head and beg the good lord to have mercy on you. I would command the doors and windows of heaven to open and release your blessing to prosperity and making much money. Unfortunately I am not doing that. I shall walk you slowly on how to make your 1st million dollars.

By now you are wondering why I am not yet started into telling you how I made my first million dollars. The truth is that it is not relevant. What is relevant is making you the next big thing with lots of money to trash. That being said, I will only focus on how well you could be your best. Instead of sitting in poverty and asking, “Why me Lord? Why was I born in this poor family? Why can’t I get a good job?” The ideal question is, “if there is so much money in the world, then why I am poor?” There are two simple answers to this question. Lack of opportunity, education level, and any other crap in economics does not answer this question. Blame it on the government policy or even inheriting poverty, whatever will justify your lack of finances.

If you are poor, you are either a “Lazy Ass or Stupid.” You can fume and call me names, I don’t care. It’s your level of poverty allowing you to reason in that direction. Just to catch you up to speed, Mayweather was paid $200million to beat another guy. And Pacquiao was also paid millions of dollars for losing to his opponent. Who said it couldn’t be you? If you read motivational books, you are feeling filled up and ready to beat up someone or get beaten for some bucks. You must be nuts if you are considering that option. Did you hear of guys who started out from nothing to millions? That’s either a fairy tale or a lie. You have to start from somewhere.

You do not need to have a 6 figure salary to make it in life. It’s not about how much you make but how you spend it. Respect for money is vital to your success. Being stingy isn’t what I am asking you to be but to have value for your money. Knowing how much you make and spend a day is quite a place to start. You are worth what you can spare in a day. How familiar are you with the concept of saving for the future? If you are considering it, then you should think twice. Think it 627X and say no to that crap. Have you not heard of YOLO (You only live once menance). Don’t think about the future. Spend the less  that you are making and become homeless the moment you lose your job, fascinating isn’t it? Some of these guys will ask you to seek advice from the so called financial experts. By doing that, you will be subjecting your hard earned cash into someone’s financial interest.

Let’s work an example using Kenya shilling. In 2005, Kshs. 1000/ could buy you 19bags of 2kg floor given a market price Kshs. 52/2kg of floor. After 10years, the current market price of the same is Kshs. 114/2kg. Using simple calculus, 10years down the road, your Kshs. 1000 can get you 9bags of 2kg floor. The period of 10years has been used because it’s normally the same for most policy maturity. This policy gives you back 9 bags of maize flour for every 19bags you give them. If you are still giving it a thought, you are under a deadly economic system spell and only the good lord can save you. It’s business for the issuing company and retardation for the undertaker.

What’s your attitude towards taking a loan? I can look you straight in the eyes and tell that you are scared of the idea. That is where the problem is. You are terrified of handling money that does not belong to you. What you don’t know is, your money doesn’t make you rich but other people’s money does. If you are planning to save to your success, then you are beyond help. Cash management is the missing word…
To be continued……..

Woman by Means

There are two types of women in the universe. There are Pretty women and other women. These two groups of women wear make up for different reasons. A pretty woman wears it to enhance on her beauty. The other woman wears make up to confirm her gender to the public. To most women, beauty lies on the face outlook. This could be true to a handful number of men. Real beauty isn’t what a man sees with his eyes but feels with his body.

Men will claim they know what they want and deny it the next second with their actions. Every guy wants a lady about 5ft 6 inches tall, weighing 56 or less kg, a perfectly shaped face with well positioned ears, nose and eyes. Hips between Vera and Huda will be in order. Her eye lashes should be firmly erect and separated by thin margins. Ribbon red lips with pink chicks for him to adore. Her hands should be tender with thin moderately long fingers. Long, well polished, nails are a bonus so desired. She should be very good in bed, cook tasty food and ready to take good care of a man. That’s all a man seeks from a woman, very little. Fancy that if you can.

That kind of woman can only be found in a very closely articulated animation. In real life, you can only settle for less than your dreams. That is crap. No man dreams of a woman he wants to get married to. He only hopes that’s she will be worth the shit he is getting into. You know, the moods, nagging, watching her age when you are getting better with age, public opinion and so on. He only hopes that her thighs are warm and her lips wet. He dreams of strong nipples and perfect mourns of his name.

A man is naturally polygamous. His mind allows him to be that. He wants a woman he can bang, a woman he can show up with in the public and one that he can marry. His only wish is that these three women never meet. A man praying for a wife should be very careful not to mention his adulterous desires to the creator. If you can, don’t pray at all.

The reason why you are having trouble in your marriage is because you married the woman that you should be banging or showing up with in public. That is the beautiful woman. The other woman is the one you ought to have married. That is the woman who forgot about herself, and decided to raise a family for you. When the beautiful woman is busy on the mirror rectifying her imperfections and cursing the creator, she is in the kitchen brewing a cup of tea. She is the prettiest woman and needs no approval from the universe but you. The beautiful woman is busy confirming her gender. This woman’s beauty doesn’t last a nigh but the other woman is confident for beauty doesn’t fade. It’s from within and her mission is to make you the man you are destined to be. She is the pretty woman.

The Darker Shade in a Woman

One man alleged that the way to a woman’s heart is through his wallet. He later learnt that his deductions were not wrong but mistaken. The wallet was simply a way into her legs. Further research on how to please a woman were conducted. It came to pass that the answer varied from one woman to another. The reason being that there was never a woman but women. Things that women find fascinating vary from one to another. There was not a specific way on how to please a woman. I found this deductions so incompetent and decided to offer my services in solving this puzzle. After working tirelessly, it appeared to me that there only existed two ways on how to please a woman. My observations are as below;

A woman knows love by the scent, sound, touch and in any other aspect of love there is. She smells it and feels its presence from afar. Her heart beats faster and forever when she sees it. This explains why women were the vast majority of Jesus followers. He was pure love and they were drown to him by it. When Jesus fed 5000men with fish and bread, the number could approximately be over 25,000 souls. Just a little lecture on why the good book mentions men; is because they were hard to convince and please. You could have one in a group of seven. In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, the Good Book instructs man to love his wife and wife to submit to her husband. Nothing more or less. Love is what a woman seeks from man. Submission is what a woman is expected of, by her husband.

If you are trying to please a woman of the past Era, then you have your answer above. The modern woman is different and love doesn’t concern her. If you win $118m in a lottery, you may as well get the woman of your dreams in the next minute. She was right there waiting for you to win millions of dollars. Fascinating! Isn’t it? These two things come in handy. The likely question that you may be asking is, “what went wrong?” Parents failed doing their job which is parenting. In the old era, a girl was taught to adore marriage. That was her highest goal. To get married and keep her husband home was all she was taught to do. She learnt how to cook good food, submit and take good care of her husband and her family. Her husband was the first man to take her to bed after marriage and the aunties taught her how to excite him.

The modern woman is worried about economic crunch, fashion, sports, parties and most importantly financial stability. That is not the problem. The fact that there is only herself in the picture is the problem. No family, no friend, no community, just her. When she started thinking about herself, everything changed. She became curious and lost her values. She is looking for a man who is driving a heavy engine with enough money for her to burn. The tall, dark and handsome phrase was reconstructed by money. The Ugliest, old, short, plumb stinking guy with millions of dollars is surely tall, dark and handsome.

She sucks d**k for money and is not intimidated by reality. If you are looking to please such a woman, please go to hell. The fact is; you can only please a woman who has morals and is not money driven. A woman who desires family and is willing to sacrifice her desires for a better marriage is worth having. As I had stated earlier, there is only two ways on how to please a woman. That is good news. The bad news is that; no one knows these two ways.” Sorry to disappoint you. Honestly I don’t care if you thought that I had the answer. Read between the lines and you will have your retort.

My Partner in Crime of Love

She smiled and pushed me away. “That was awesome,” she remarked. We were breathing hard and trying to catch our breath. I was still having a hard phenomenal and nothing could calm me down. I was feeling like a million dollars and wanted more. I had a statement to make, and its lines flowed right inside my veins. She had her right, warm thigh over me and her right hand caressing my chest hair (which I am so proud of). I kissed her fore head as she listened to my heart beat. “I never, in my wildest thoughts, imagine this would ever happen.” My heart skipped two beats and it all came back to me.

Promise that you will always be mine. Tell me that you will love no other but me. She holds my hand so tight. My heart races rapidly as she continues. I will be the woman that you want. My mission in life is to make you the brightest star of them all. Her words I understood not. I was scared, not to ruin the moment. My tongue was tied. Could have said a thousand words but none come from my lips. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. “I love you too” was all I managed to say. She was thirteen and I, fourteen. I hugged her so tight and let her go where she belonged. In her father’s house she ran. Looked back and waved goodbye. We would meet at school the next morning.

Her name was Fiona. She was the love of my life and the only girl I found interesting enough to hang-out with. The other girls were either too girlish or I naturally disliked them. She was my friend, my girl-friend. We played and ate ice-cream together. Could do her a couple of favors and she did me some as well. I was at home with the woman I loved. One crazy evening she tricked me to close my eyes and placed her lips on mine. It didn’t feel good. I later learned that it was a kiss. If she only mentioned it, could have taught her how it’s done on TV. We had a Great-Wall TV back at home and we (My brother, sister and I) sneaked to watch “The Bold and The Beautiful” when our parents were asleep. My dad could complain of the battery draining so fast and the TV over heating in the night.

I was always awake for a few minutes before I fell asleep. I could picture Fiona in my thoughts playing with me and having the time of our lives. What else could we do? We were lovers and we had to play and share. We didn’t care if our friends liked it or not. It concerned us less or not at all. My mom knew that I liked Fiona and so did her mom. They did nothing about it. That was back then, we were kids and we knew not how to do stuff. They were happy for us, it seemed like it. I recall when my mother occasionally asked me to go and play with Fiona because she had some place to go.

All was well until she learned new things. Fiona learnt the kind of stuff that I disliked with all my small heart. One evening her mother was leaving for the market and asked her to come and play with me. It was a coincidence that my mom was away. She came to me with intentions, really bad intentions. Fiona wanted to have sex. It all happened so fast that I can’t recall it all. We did it with clothes on. As far as we were concerned, we were no longer virgins. I couldn’t look at her straight into the eyes or find courage to get close to her. That was the revelation of our little affair.

We met in a banking hall twelve years later; she was standing right in front of me in the queue. I was staring right at her ass and wishing I could have a bite. She looked back at me and smiled. “Hi. Sorry if I stared.” I was quick to apologize. She looked right into me and called me by the name. It was her, my darling Fiona, the beautiful little Fiona grown into the prettiest woman I ever seen. We walked out of the bank a few minutes later holding hands. Our little crime was forever.

A Lie for a Better Relationship

They say that nothing good lasts forever. Unfortunately, no reason is given to this demoralizing fact. You are in a ditch Jack, climb the hell up! That seems to be the attitude. Amazing things or those that thrill our anxiety are either happening for the first time or hidden in something different. Love at first sight, sex in the shower, one night stand, peeing in the swimming pool, smoking Mariwana and so on are not exactly what they seem to be.

Humans find excitement in mysteries, fear and unpredictability. Trying something new is exciting because we have a vivid picture of the outcome. After doing something new, we somehow develop an urge of doing it over and over. The sad news is that, even after our brain has forgotten finding pleasure, we still think it’s enjoyable. This leads to addictions and loss of self control.

My solution to boredom and monotony especially in the bedroom would be to brainwash couples. This makes them think that they are doing something new with a different person each day. Not only would it strengthen families but also form a reputable community based on the empathy we show to strangers. Brainwashing individuals would rather be more taxing to the economy and thus we rule that out. What could bring the thrill and excitement back from what it has come to be? What can make us recall that feeling that we used to love?

I recommend a lie and a little unpredictability. These two things will magic up your broken home from dust to gold. Getting your partner excited and wondering what your next move might be is the trick. Have you ever wondered why the relationship between your man and soccer is forever? It’s because he doesn’t have powers to control the outcome of the match. All he does is hope that things are going to go by his side. He knows the rules of the game perfectly, but there is this blond making wrong decision that may rob his team of victory. The most interesting part is that there is nothing he can do about it. Being helpless and hoping that someone else promising to save you will comply is irresistible.
Doing something differently keeps the excitement. Learning how to do the same thing differently is what is difficult. Fear motivates a man. The woman’s work is to keep the man guessing. While doing this, it is important to know what is key in a good relationship.

The Poisoned Apple

The breasts of a strange woman are warm and soft. She has nipples, strong and refreshing on your lips. Her voice and sounds of ecstasy are a higher appeal to your libido. Below her abdomen are warm thighs. Warm thighs and soft skin are her proud possession. She whispers sweet words in your ear. There is a secret spell being uttered to your soul. She wants to take you from home to the wilderness. Her mission is to make you wonder and only she will rescue you, from your dreams and the desires of your libido.

My son, do not take that woman home. Never think of introducing her to your parents. All she can satisfy is the lust of your flesh. Your soul will thirst for water and she will give you beer. To quench your thirst, you shall have to buzz. Your heart will desire no more success. Her beauty will blind your eyes and fix your reason. Do not be deceived by her beauty, her words are sweet but meaningless. She will be your only friend and master. Her sweetness causes diabetes to your life.

I looked at the woman this old man was discouraging me to pursue. The more he spoke, the more my fire for this woman lit. I didn’t understand his logic. He was trying to ruin an ice cream by adding chocolate sprinkles on it. She was beautiful and had really soft skin. I wanted to feel those acquiescent nipples on my lips. If being with this woman would cost me my life, then it was worth it. She was like the scorching sun set. I could think of nothing less than to make her my woman. She had the body of a young gazelle. In the next few minutes, a black Range Rover sport with tinted windows pulled by her side and she entered in the back left. The woman of my dreams was gone and there was nothing that I could do about it.

I was in love, it was real and I could feel it right in my bones. This woman was a demon who used dark powers to cast a spell on my poor soul. I closed my eyes and got lost into the world of fantasy. She was my Delilah and I Samson, with a single kiss on my lips, I could tell her secrets of my strength. An eighth grade dropout, all she had was her body. No university degree, no diploma, no certificate. All she had was her body. The only way she knew how to make money was by lying on her back and watching him feast.

Thanks to the government who claim prostitution is illegal and actively participates in it. Thanks to the policeman who takes bribe and watch the hooker walk. Thanks to the rich guy who pays thousands to have sex. Thanks to the taxi driver who picks and drops her as a package. Thanks to the human rights for considering nudity a choice of dress. Thanks to her parents for not being there for her. Thanks to the headmaster who chased her out of school due to lack of school fees. They all are the reason I cannot be in a civil relationship with the woman I love, and most importantly; thank you for reading this and doing nothing about it.

Uncle for Hire III

I wonder what is good about weddings! To me it has never been a joy. I live to figure things out. I solve equations that will never put food on my table but will surely cheat ignorance of its territory. I am like a light shinning so bright on a raised platform to lighten the dark beliefs in humanity. Thank you for the applause. That was so obvious of you. Those of low intelligence will think that I am bragging! I forgive them because I do not carry burdens for people whose medulla oblongata cannot match mine. Once again, thank you for taking your useless time to read this nonsense. Now back to real business.
Now Randy, Patricia and I lived like a family. This time, I had something good to think about when it comes to children. Apart from the ice creams and chocolates, Randy and I always went to parks, children festivals organized by Churchill and many other parties meant for children. I had become a favorite uncle who helped raise an intelligent boy and provide a father figure for him to look up to. Every day was like Christmas that came without Santa.

When I was young, I was introduced to this pimp called Santa. The whole idea was that he loved kids and could bring gifts on Christmas. The idea sounded good and I loved Santa with all my small heart until my 6th Christmas. This particular year I wanted a bicycle and wrote Santa very many letters requesting for one. On 24th December, I stayed awake the whole night waiting for my new bike that I would use to get Ruth to like me by giving her a ride on it. The clown didn’t turn up and I was so disappointed. I wrote other follow up letters to Santa and never did I receive any reply. One evening I was so frustrated about Santa and I addressed a letter to everyone. It read like this; If anyone sees Santa, tell the damn clown to shave his beards, hit the gym and get himself a f**king career. Now you get the picture of how disciplined and innocent I was as a kid. I later learnt that my parents would get my letters to Santa and buy me the gift I had requested for on Christmas to keep the idea of Santa real in my imaginations. By asking for a bike, I had gone way beyond their budget and they could not spend that kind of money in the name of Santa.
There is this one day that I will always picture before I close my eyes for the last time in this miserable world. That is the first time when I placed my lips on Patricia’s. Yes! You heard me right Thomas! I kissed the damn woman and there is completely nothing you can do about it. Words can never describe how I felt but I will try. It is like finding a wall after holding urine for a long time nearly busting your bladder, peeing in a swimming pool or a hot bath tab and offloading a big load from your head, all in one. She looked at my yes and said that she knew I would come along. We are now planning visiting her parents for introduction so that I get a driving license for this powerful engine. I am thinking about having like 8 children with this woman to be sure that she is mine.
I remain yours, Truly, The Mighty Hyena (Tamed).