What Do You Know About Sex?

When sex is brought into question, getting many advisers is an obvious result. Everyone thinks they know a little bit more than you. Even those that do not satisfy their partners’ sexually think that they have a thing or two that you can learn from them. So many guns to hunt a squirrel. Yes that is what it is “A squirrel” or even a mosquito. That’s perfect. Get rid of the mosquito or it will keep you up all night. This is a sad truth about men and I think that it’s time that someone paid attention and listened to the alarms made by women regarding their disappointing sex life. The saddening truth is that this sexually dissatisfied woman is dating one of the self-proclaimed “penetration expert”. It’s hard to believe that your screaming woman could be faking organisms just to keep your ego satisfied.

There are things that men find hard to accept or deal with. These are HIV status, infertility and worse of them all, doubting their ability to meet a woman’s sexual needs. This in particular is a very hard journey for a male to travel. It robs him of his masculinity and makes him bitter and angry at everything. This being said; means that ladies should take caution in how they reveal this to their partner (Maybe we can talk about it in another article just keep checking).

Sex has two sides perhaps three. The male side, the female side and the other side (that’s the common ground). Looking at sex in a man’s perspective, the requirement for a successful sexual intercourse is simple. There needs to be two consenting partners (man and woman) with their body parts responding accordingly. That is as far as it goes for guys. Looking at the ladies side, the man’s perspective applies but there is more.

Humans are different from most animals. Unlike animals, humans have sex for pleasure so does other few animals like dolphins and monkeys. This lays a ground to the question that everyone should be asking: What does it take for a woman to enjoy sex? Yes a ‘WOMAN’ not a ‘MAN’. Men can enjoy sex even in almost an impossible situation. What of a woman? What does it take? It all about women again. But this time, the question is not directed to the man. This is a question that women need to answer on individual level given that they are different (don’t know how different they really are).

When I was growing up, my brother would bump to me with a common phase, “There are two ways to please a woman!” I would reluctantly ask what they are and his response was always the same, “nobody knows them”. Ideas of pleasing a woman sexually are wild and could not be mastered by any man. Having the same conversation with different women, they all gave different answers on what takes them to the creamy land but they all share a common phrase, “Trust”. By trusting you; they mean feeling comfortable, free, secure and excited to do stuff around you. That’s why for once, we need a woman on a drivers sit. Each woman drives her own fantasy cab and lets the guy take her to the zone.

How does she get to trust you? What do you need to do to get her to feel secure and excited around you? The answer is simple. All you need to do is listen and participate. Connect psychologically with her and share her sentiments. Let her feel free to reveal to you some of her secret and pretend to care even if you don’t. Make up something a little nasty in the middle of her ‘little secrets’ and pretend it’s surreptitious. Something like; “I have never seen a nipple eye to eye”. It might not sound like a thing to you but she is going to make a world out of it. Be careful how you respond to questions that start with a caution (i.e. don’t get offended when I ask, Just curious, can I ask you a question?) These would determine your end of trial. Always play a victim and turn around and be a better man in your story. Don’t mind about how shallow your reasoning is, she is too emotional to notice. I once told a lady a story of how I climbed a passion fruit tree to retrieve a kite for a young girl and to this day she has never figured it out but has adoration of how caring I can be.

To cut a long story short, pleasing a woman has nothing to do with how good you think you are in bed. It’s everything about connecting on the same emotional platform and being excited about each other. She wants to thing that you are doing it for love and not because you are horny. It’s not a “shagg” its “making love”. Just give enough time to her emotions and body before you get your share. Also be keen as to not fall asleep immediately after. Watch her for a while and ask silly questions. Have some laugh before sleep and thank me later. And never think that you know it all. That same woman is a different woman every single sunrise. That’s the other side of a coin.

Until then, I remain yours truly,

Dr. Musoosi

Curse of a Beautiful Woman

Her beauty is her major asset and yet her curse.She stares at the mirror with tears slowly filling her eyes. She wishes she could be dead but doesn’t have courage to do it. Something tells her it’s going to be alright. It fills her heart with hope, hope for a better day to come. This keeps her alive for one more day . All she has or achieved cannot be accredited to hard work. Even when she sweats, it’s a drip of honey. Tears keep her company in long showers. They are salty just like those of any other being. She lifts her head and faces directly at the shower. Perhaps it could drip salvation this one time. She lets it directly to her face, maybe the showers could wash away her memories. Bitter memories of guys who wanted to lay her to grant her success. She knew it was not the only way but she did it anyway. A fight against her horny seniors always got her losing almost everything. The guys who could help her had their sight narrowed to her pants. The women in charge dismissed her in the name of “her slutty” behavior. Their Jealousy ruin her life and so many others.

Two stripes appeared on the test Kit. She didn’t panic, no sign of the results could be read from her face. She remained calm and blank. “What are the results?” Inquired the medical personnel. “It reads positive.” She responded in a calm voice. She knew that she had the HIV virus and so was a large number of guys who slept with her to give what was rightly hers. It wasn’t going to kill her, that she was sure. Medical examinations had showed that she has closed cells and she only served as a carrier. The devils weapon of distraction. Her mother was dying and so was her father. Maybe the house girl had it too. Maybe the same courtesy was extended to the gardener or even the watchman. Maybe her two brothers and her sister were in the circle. Maybe, just maybe. If only her mother had listened! He was supposed to be her father. It hurts her too much and she hates men for that. Her mother warned her not to tell anyone on grounds of not tarnishing the family name. The same family was dead anyway. Maybe a few would remain if they kept their pants on.
He pins her hard on the bed as he concludes his intimate engagement. she doesn’t look at him. Her eyes are fixed on the mirror besides the bed. Plus one to her kills. One more she knows. She didn’t tell him to wear protection. It’s his life to save or to lose. His wife and concubines are welcome to join the circle. It doesn’t hunt her. He is paying for his sins with his blood. The remission of sin requires blood. This she learnt from her pastor. A man of god who is weak in flesh. He fell to the world just like other sinful men. She knows them by name and wrote them in a small book with a red hard cover. They were all victims of the flesh.
The waiter brings two more beers on her her table. She doesn’t recall asking for more and looks at the waiter curiously. He smiles and points at a guy seated at the far right corner who waves in acknowledgement. He is drinking a soda, neither does he look like a drinker. Maybe he gets ladies drunk and take them to bed to do his bidding. It doesn’t bother her, she has nothing to lose. He takes his glass and a half empty soda bottle and proceeds to join her. She looks at the bottle and occasionally looks side ways. He smiles and she takes very short intervals looking at him. Not that shy look from innocent ladies. Seems like she doesn’t want to remember his face so that it doesn’t hunt her when he is gone. “I am Rev. Geoffrey Mulyawita,” he breaks the silence while extending his hand to shake hers. She doesn’t say anything and leaves his hand hanging in the air. He draws back his hand and moves slightly to sit directly opposite to her. She lifts her head and notices the collar. Confusion fills her face and she seems lost. she doesn’t seem to find herself.
She had judged him wrongly. He wasn’t the type that wanted to take her to bed. This she was sure. She saw the concern on his face and something like a sword with two sharp edges cut through her heart. She started crying, not the tears of venges but those of remorse. he held her hand and stated that he was passing by and something that he cannot explain led him to take a soda in this particular pub. Now he understood why as she narrated her story. The two left the filthy pub that evening with the same goal in mind that is to give her a second chance in life.
As I tell this story, there is clearly one question in mind. Is it an everyday story to a listening ear or will it some how impact someone to make a change? I refuse to be a part of a cartel that ruins ones dreams for personal gains. I rest my case.

A Lie for a Better Relationship

They say that nothing good lasts forever. Unfortunately, no reason is given to this demoralizing fact. You are in a ditch Jack, climb the hell up! That seems to be the attitude. Amazing things or those that thrill our anxiety are either happening for the first time or hidden in something different. Love at first sight, sex in the shower, one night stand, peeing in the swimming pool, smoking Mariwana and so on are not exactly what they seem to be.

Humans find excitement in mysteries, fear and unpredictability. Trying something new is exciting because we have a vivid picture of the outcome. After doing something new, we somehow develop an urge of doing it over and over. The sad news is that, even after our brain has forgotten finding pleasure, we still think it’s enjoyable. This leads to addictions and loss of self control.

My solution to boredom and monotony especially in the bedroom would be to brainwash couples. This makes them think that they are doing something new with a different person each day. Not only would it strengthen families but also form a reputable community based on the empathy we show to strangers. Brainwashing individuals would rather be more taxing to the economy and thus we rule that out. What could bring the thrill and excitement back from what it has come to be? What can make us recall that feeling that we used to love?

I recommend a lie and a little unpredictability. These two things will magic up your broken home from dust to gold. Getting your partner excited and wondering what your next move might be is the trick. Have you ever wondered why the relationship between your man and soccer is forever? It’s because he doesn’t have powers to control the outcome of the match. All he does is hope that things are going to go by his side. He knows the rules of the game perfectly, but there is this blond making wrong decision that may rob his team of victory. The most interesting part is that there is nothing he can do about it. Being helpless and hoping that someone else promising to save you will comply is irresistible.
Doing something differently keeps the excitement. Learning how to do the same thing differently is what is difficult. Fear motivates a man. The woman’s work is to keep the man guessing. While doing this, it is important to know what is key in a good relationship.