The Reminiscence of a Fraidy-Cat

My brain is an ocean of ideas (I would love to think), never has it been in a stagnant mode. Always reminding me of the good times, lost opportunities and a whole lot of imaginations. I would like to think of Love in four letters and nothing more. But having the knowledge and a heartbeat that has felt both the warmth of affection and the sting of a heartbreak. I therefore declare that I do believe in love and the good tidings and the pain that it can bring along.

My dearest friend, take this as an act of a fraidy-cat but of the greatest affection ever plead guilty.

Good morning world, I had an awesome night. A night made splendid by a thought of a friend whose reminiscence kept me warm in the obscurity of the night. Perhaps a confession from my heart of what could have been of you and me. Like in a blue-ray movie, I didn’t blink not to miss a scene.

On a roof top I stood but was not sure where I was. The night seemed foggy and I couldn’t see clearly which building I was on and my mind didn’t have memories of how I did get there. Just a sentiment that it was where I lived. I walked down the stairs and having a view of the inside edifice, it was different from the one that I resided in. Went back to the roof top and skipped to the next building since they all were of the same height. Went down the stairs as before and still it was a different structure. I therefore went back to the roof top but this time it was different. The fog was all gone and I could now see clearly under the brightness of the full moon. I had to skip three more buildings to get to the one that I resided in.

I lifted my head and there you stood dear friend. Just when I thought I was finally home, my journey had just began. There you stood in a chilly night wearing a rugged dirty dress with a cigarette on one hand. In a deep shadow of distress and discomfort, my heart recognized you and loved you just the way you were. You looked at me dear friend and in your eyes I got lost.

The dream took us to civilization, in an apartment that I assumed was your dwelling place. At least I felt like a visitor and you the host. This time you were prettier than a pair of white doves flying across a waterfall. Your eyes seemed so bright and your smile unexplainable. You wore a white night dress and seemingly nothing beneath it. The evening was all ours and this time we had each other. I held you in my arms and your warmth I could feel. A cozy sofa played us host and our entertainment was from each other with a wrestling match on television. Your bright sparking eyes, soft flesh and wet lips sanctified by the touch of your tongue was more than I could resist. A heartfelt kiss from mine truly held me convict on this love circuit.

I love you my darling or should I call you friend? We both knew this was factual and tonight we were taking no hostages.

Every touch, every kiss, bite will count. The night took us to the kitchen, perhaps the most suitable place for a fascinating charm. I took you by your perfectly fitting waist and sat you on the kitchen counter. Leaning your head on mine, you blushed a teasing kiss on my less deserving lips. Forever starts tonight, with a warm whisper you assured me. A pint-size bite to my ear, I could feel your fleshy breasts press against my hard beating heart. An astounding feeling I must confess. The only feeling that can clearly paint eternity in paradise.

Sensing every bit of your touch as your hand slowly proceeded downwards via my chest. The taste of your sweetish soft skin, the scent of you and a heavy breathing on me was more than my flesh could contain. Feeling your body on mine and the intense sounds of ecstasy gave us a perfect rhythm for this dance. For a moment, we held the right definition for the term ‘Love-birds’.

My feet were cold my love and I turned to pull the blanket but could not find it. I sat up on the bed and you were nowhere to be found.

This beautiful experience must have drained so much from me that I did not recall coming to the bedroom. The wind was freezing cold and I couldn’t find you nor even have a clue of where you were. I went to the Kitchen and you were nowhere to be found. As I wondered in the doom of a dark room, I opened a door and found me on the rooftop. Raising my head, I could see a shadow of a feminine fine figure disappearing in the foggy darkness. I presumed it was you darling but everything was happening so fast and I couldn’t catch up with you.

Sitting on my bed with my feet on a freezing floor and I thought of you my friend. What if this dream was a reality? I could feel love in its strongest manifestation in a dream. I knew that what I did feel for you was true love and never confessed it despite knowing that you did feel the same for me. Age was our barrier but it couldn’t stop this feeling from mine soul. The little moments we had by the dam, coffee plantation, the football thrill and your priceless tasty meals relived in my head. It still felt beautiful despite spending a couple of years building walls between ourselves. Your enjoyable conversations my friend, I could listen to you for eternity and still want to hear more.

All we have is a question of what if? What if I had kissed your soft lips and told you how my heart could only beat for you? What if you kissed me first? Maybe it will be a question never to be answered.

But one question still lingers on my mind, “If we met and I kissed, would you kiss me back?

My Partner in Crime of Love

She smiled and pushed me away. “That was awesome,” she remarked. We were breathing hard and trying to catch our breath. I was still having a hard phenomenal and nothing could calm me down. I was feeling like a million dollars and wanted more. I had a statement to make, and its lines flowed right inside my veins. She had her right, warm thigh over me and her right hand caressing my chest hair (which I am so proud of). I kissed her fore head as she listened to my heart beat. “I never, in my wildest thoughts, imagine this would ever happen.” My heart skipped two beats and it all came back to me.

Promise that you will always be mine. Tell me that you will love no other but me. She holds my hand so tight. My heart races rapidly as she continues. I will be the woman that you want. My mission in life is to make you the brightest star of them all. Her words I understood not. I was scared, not to ruin the moment. My tongue was tied. Could have said a thousand words but none come from my lips. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. “I love you too” was all I managed to say. She was thirteen and I, fourteen. I hugged her so tight and let her go where she belonged. In her father’s house she ran. Looked back and waved goodbye. We would meet at school the next morning.

Her name was Fiona. She was the love of my life and the only girl I found interesting enough to hang-out with. The other girls were either too girlish or I naturally disliked them. She was my friend, my girl-friend. We played and ate ice-cream together. Could do her a couple of favors and she did me some as well. I was at home with the woman I loved. One crazy evening she tricked me to close my eyes and placed her lips on mine. It didn’t feel good. I later learned that it was a kiss. If she only mentioned it, could have taught her how it’s done on TV. We had a Great-Wall TV back at home and we (My brother, sister and I) sneaked to watch “The Bold and The Beautiful” when our parents were asleep. My dad could complain of the battery draining so fast and the TV over heating in the night.

I was always awake for a few minutes before I fell asleep. I could picture Fiona in my thoughts playing with me and having the time of our lives. What else could we do? We were lovers and we had to play and share. We didn’t care if our friends liked it or not. It concerned us less or not at all. My mom knew that I liked Fiona and so did her mom. They did nothing about it. That was back then, we were kids and we knew not how to do stuff. They were happy for us, it seemed like it. I recall when my mother occasionally asked me to go and play with Fiona because she had some place to go.

All was well until she learned new things. Fiona learnt the kind of stuff that I disliked with all my small heart. One evening her mother was leaving for the market and asked her to come and play with me. It was a coincidence that my mom was away. She came to me with intentions, really bad intentions. Fiona wanted to have sex. It all happened so fast that I can’t recall it all. We did it with clothes on. As far as we were concerned, we were no longer virgins. I couldn’t look at her straight into the eyes or find courage to get close to her. That was the revelation of our little affair.

We met in a banking hall twelve years later; she was standing right in front of me in the queue. I was staring right at her ass and wishing I could have a bite. She looked back at me and smiled. “Hi. Sorry if I stared.” I was quick to apologize. She looked right into me and called me by the name. It was her, my darling Fiona, the beautiful little Fiona grown into the prettiest woman I ever seen. We walked out of the bank a few minutes later holding hands. Our little crime was forever.