What Does a Man Want in a Woman?

“Mwanamke ni tabia”, so I have heard. Sounds reasonable but why does a man cheat on a good woman? To answer this question, I believe that we need to define what we mean by a “good woman”. This is where we get the phase, “mwanamke ni tabia”, meaning that a good woman is one with a good character. I believe that there is much more. In the traditional Afrika, a bride was not married to the groom but to the groom’s family. She was responsible for taking care of the entire family alongside respecting those who held senior positions in the clan. A woman of good character was preferred for a bride. Enough about traditional Afrika, we are in the 21^st Century and so much has changed.

Westernization of the Afrikan community has brought its positives and also carried along its negatives. Love is considered to be a core factor in marriage and other things can follow. According to statistics, an alarming large number of married men and women are actively involved in adultery. The magic of love does not seem to stop this. So goes the lyrics,” how could an angel break my heart?” A learned professor argued that men cannot fully commit to one woman due to an extra hormone. He argued that it was a scientific fact but could not explain it. It appeared as a, submit with no questions kind of method that required one to believe without question. Therefore, I will ignore this scientific fact and go ahead to discuss this further. Maybe we got it all wrong and we need to go back to the drawing board and start asking relevant questions.

“What does a man want in a woman?” This to me is a question that should be in every lad’s mind who is considering marriage. As we look for a woman who meets our parent’s standards, we forget what we really want. Sex is a core factor when it comes to a man. It is a sad truth that men are sexual beings. I know of men who will choose big boobs over brains. So how do you commit to one woman since they are all lacking in one way or another?  The answer is between the lines.

Maybe the professor was right about men of the flesh not being able to commit to one woman. They all got that extra one hormone that doesn’t allow them to be content with what a single woman has to offer. These men keep turning their heads staring at a bigger butt and salivating at larger boobs. It’s all in the mind. Science has revealed that a man thinks about sex nearly 90% of his time. I am not saying that it is impossible to commit to one woman, all I am saying is that it takes more than an everyday man to be faithful.

Purpose is a key aspect in shaping character. As a Christian, I believe that transformation through the blood of Jesus Christ gives a Christian control over his flesh. The scripture quotes that the flesh is in a fight with the spirit. The flesh is worldly but the spirit is eternal. When one makes a decision to receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, he puts things of the flesh to death and embraces a new spiritual nourishment. He is never the same again. Only such a man through studying the scripture, prayer, fasting and fellowship has strength to overcome the flesh. So what does a man look for in a woman? A good woman should be deep into Christ that you have to find Christ Jesus to discover her.

Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with the flesh as you might have though. A woman who loves the Lord has got the complete package for a man who loves Jesus Christ.

Until then, I remain yours truly

Dr. Kiptanui

Reason why I Love You

Why do you love me? How much do you love me? These will seem like two simple questions until they are directed to you by someone that you are trying to impress. Sounds like why should we hire you?, in a job interview. The answer has to impress the interviewer. This determines whether you get hired or not. Same scenario applies when your partner in the crime of love inquires this of you. Unlike in a job interview where your response need to be professional, here it should sound emotional. Am not asking you to fake emotions when responding to this answer, all am saying is you take time to think as to why you love your partner. This way, your answer, when asked, will definitely appear genuine with acceptable emotional levels. This is unlike an interview where your response should appear true and professional.

Men dodge this question each time they are asked. The dodging of the question might appear romantic to your partner but you cannot fool her every time. If no one has asked you why you love him/her then it’s just a matter of time so stop thinking you escaped it. Humans (Particularly the female) are emotional beings. You will discover that most of the things we do are emotionally connected as opposed to reason. Therefore, it is our sole duty to satisfy the emotional needs of those that we care about. Perhaps the reason as to why men lie. “Why do you love me?” hits like a stray bullet right through the heart when least expected. You compose yourself, slowly turn, look at her straight into the eyes, hold her hands tight and tell a lie.

A lie that is so sweet. One that thrills her body and makes her knees shiver. “I cannot find words in the English dictionary that can clearly explain why I love you. I love you for who you are, the whole of you is a perfectly an adorable scenery for me. I love you for you.” Sounds adorably beautiful. A magnificent line that could be said before taking to your knees to propose but not satisfying. While in a break of writing this article, I got into a lift with my darling and nearly got myself a divorce. We were only the two of us in a lift when I held her by the waist closer to me and asked her the, would be the most beautiful question (if well backed with details). “Do you know how much I love you?” To my surprise, she asks how much and I had to joke myself out of the getting serious situation. I hadn’t actually thought it through. That’s 1 for me.

“My dear, I felt so lonely when you went to visit your parents for the weekend. Those two days were like eternity in two complete phases. This got me thinking as to why I love you this much.” If she was listening, then she will inquire what your findings were and that’s when you let her know what she really means to you. It is wrong to cram from the same booklet when expressing yourself. This is simply because we live a different script. Your response should match the relationship that you have been having with your partner. It’s not all soap Opera for everyone. Even in difficult situations, there is always room for self expression and fixing the holes.

Ladies would love to hear what you truly feel. Knowing that she is your found rib and how she offers great company when you are together. Tell her how you appreciate her cooking and she will be forever feeding you. Let her feel appreciated and enjoy the little heaven you made in your home. But for now, let’s get thinking and get acceptably satisfactory answers to these questions
By Dr. Musoosi