The Reminiscence of a Fraidy-Cat

My brain is an ocean of ideas (I would love to think), never has it been in a stagnant mode. Always reminding me of the good times, lost opportunities and a whole lot of imaginations. I would like to think of Love in four letters and nothing more. But having the knowledge and a heartbeat that has felt both the warmth of affection and the sting of a heartbreak. I therefore declare that I do believe in love and the good tidings and the pain that it can bring along.

My dearest friend, take this as an act of a fraidy-cat but of the greatest affection ever plead guilty.

Good morning world, I had an awesome night. A night made splendid by a thought of a friend whose reminiscence kept me warm in the obscurity of the night. Perhaps a confession from my heart of what could have been of you and me. Like in a blue-ray movie, I didn’t blink not to miss a scene.

On a roof top I stood but was not sure where I was. The night seemed foggy and I couldn’t see clearly which building I was on and my mind didn’t have memories of how I did get there. Just a sentiment that it was where I lived. I walked down the stairs and having a view of the inside edifice, it was different from the one that I resided in. Went back to the roof top and skipped to the next building since they all were of the same height. Went down the stairs as before and still it was a different structure. I therefore went back to the roof top but this time it was different. The fog was all gone and I could now see clearly under the brightness of the full moon. I had to skip three more buildings to get to the one that I resided in.

I lifted my head and there you stood dear friend. Just when I thought I was finally home, my journey had just began. There you stood in a chilly night wearing a rugged dirty dress with a cigarette on one hand. In a deep shadow of distress and discomfort, my heart recognized you and loved you just the way you were. You looked at me dear friend and in your eyes I got lost.

The dream took us to civilization, in an apartment that I assumed was your dwelling place. At least I felt like a visitor and you the host. This time you were prettier than a pair of white doves flying across a waterfall. Your eyes seemed so bright and your smile unexplainable. You wore a white night dress and seemingly nothing beneath it. The evening was all ours and this time we had each other. I held you in my arms and your warmth I could feel. A cozy sofa played us host and our entertainment was from each other with a wrestling match on television. Your bright sparking eyes, soft flesh and wet lips sanctified by the touch of your tongue was more than I could resist. A heartfelt kiss from mine truly held me convict on this love circuit.

I love you my darling or should I call you friend? We both knew this was factual and tonight we were taking no hostages.

Every touch, every kiss, bite will count. The night took us to the kitchen, perhaps the most suitable place for a fascinating charm. I took you by your perfectly fitting waist and sat you on the kitchen counter. Leaning your head on mine, you blushed a teasing kiss on my less deserving lips. Forever starts tonight, with a warm whisper you assured me. A pint-size bite to my ear, I could feel your fleshy breasts press against my hard beating heart. An astounding feeling I must confess. The only feeling that can clearly paint eternity in paradise.

Sensing every bit of your touch as your hand slowly proceeded downwards via my chest. The taste of your sweetish soft skin, the scent of you and a heavy breathing on me was more than my flesh could contain. Feeling your body on mine and the intense sounds of ecstasy gave us a perfect rhythm for this dance. For a moment, we held the right definition for the term ‘Love-birds’.

My feet were cold my love and I turned to pull the blanket but could not find it. I sat up on the bed and you were nowhere to be found.

This beautiful experience must have drained so much from me that I did not recall coming to the bedroom. The wind was freezing cold and I couldn’t find you nor even have a clue of where you were. I went to the Kitchen and you were nowhere to be found. As I wondered in the doom of a dark room, I opened a door and found me on the rooftop. Raising my head, I could see a shadow of a feminine fine figure disappearing in the foggy darkness. I presumed it was you darling but everything was happening so fast and I couldn’t catch up with you.

Sitting on my bed with my feet on a freezing floor and I thought of you my friend. What if this dream was a reality? I could feel love in its strongest manifestation in a dream. I knew that what I did feel for you was true love and never confessed it despite knowing that you did feel the same for me. Age was our barrier but it couldn’t stop this feeling from mine soul. The little moments we had by the dam, coffee plantation, the football thrill and your priceless tasty meals relived in my head. It still felt beautiful despite spending a couple of years building walls between ourselves. Your enjoyable conversations my friend, I could listen to you for eternity and still want to hear more.

All we have is a question of what if? What if I had kissed your soft lips and told you how my heart could only beat for you? What if you kissed me first? Maybe it will be a question never to be answered.

But one question still lingers on my mind, “If we met and I kissed, would you kiss me back?

About Last Night

This guy appeared drunk but not very drunk maybe because he could recognize familiar faces or maybe I am just too good looking to forget. He dances his way to where I was dancing. I am not sure if it was really dancing but my drunkard self seemed to agree to it. If you have ever gotten yourself to drink more than you can handle, then you can side with me that alcohol does not aid clear sight. Something, luggage like, seems to be piling in my head. It keeps getting heavy each time and stressful to move around with. I continue dancing as impressively as could be judged by a jury of drunkards. He says hi and I reply, hi. He points at me and goes like, “St. Clement youth leader.” It is now clear that a drunkard man cannot pretend or keep a secret. My face must have betrayed me. That expression that screams aloud like,; “And who the hell are you? Introduce yourself, must have been written all over my face. And there went the weird introduction. At least we are both drunk and dancing in a club. I shrugged the idea away and continued to dance for a while now together as buddies. Strange enough I started having a weird feeling with a sense of guilt as to how I got this drunk in the first place.

Just like any other Saturday afternoon when you happen to be off duty (not an off day but a cooked sick off (Those in the service industry can relate)) and you happen not to have anything important to attend to. Perhaps the whole idea was to know how it feels like to wake up late on a weekend. Maybe to have a taste of what your future will be like when the government finally considers one of your endless job applications and give you a job in one of those ministries. So am in a track and wearing sandals heading to meet a friend who wanted to have a one on one conversation to deliberate on some issues. This means that I had no intent of going far from home; my mind was programmed to head back home immediately after our short meeting. Watching a series or a couple of movies is all I am thinking about. It’s been a hectic week and I deserve a rest.

Perhaps the whole idea was to know how it feels like to wake up late on a weekend. Maybe to have a taste of what your future will be like when the government finally considers one of your endless job applications and give you a job in one of those ministries

After the small meeting, I decide to continue with my well planned weekend and that meant heading to the nearest movie shop to check on the latest release this is when I bounced into Johnny. There is something about these guys named Johnny unlike the Johns. These Jonnies are always up to something. Something bad, always pushed to cause trouble. We do the usual hood ‘wagwan’ and he gives me a plan for the evening.

Here I am in a group of people that I do not know shouting and singing happy birthday. There is this lady who happens to be Johnny’s friend. She has been giving me many ideas. Ideas of things that I would love to do to her. Very bad things, those things that could make a female hyena blush. We eat this birthday cake that is full of sugary cream. I don’t like the taste but I am too drunk to figure that out. I take a lot of cream maybe because she was holding the plate. She looks at me each time I lick the cream on my fingers and gives me a billion dollar smile, that smile that speaks to you in Greek and tells you to do it one more time. Am taking pictures carelessly with my Galaxy J7 and showing of how super they look. I love the adoration that I am getting because of this phone. Some blonds are even mistaking it for a Galaxy S6 duos and am saying a silent amen in my heart. I decide to get her number in the name of forwarding the pictures to her via Whatsapp and I am successful.

She has been giving me many ideas. Ideas of things that I would love to do to her. Very bad things, those things that could make a female hyena blush

We eat a lot of chips mixed with fried meat. I continue with my photo thing socking my J7 into a mixture of Gin, bear and oily junk food. I still put it in my pocket and find nothing wrong doing it. I go dancing into the dancing floor where everybody feels like me. We stagger and knock our bodies while dancing. We don’t get violent, no!! We look at each other and smile, we understand. That is when I met this guy who reminds me that am a church youth leader and ruins my night. Someone holds my hand from behind and on turning, it was this beautiful stranger. She had decided to join me in the dancing floor. She turns and she directs my hands towards her waist. She rubs herself on me in all terrible dimensions possible. Moves that I had been seeing on Television and thought it was fiction were revealed to me to be true. This lady was doing every bit of it in its full glory on me and it really got me sweating. I had started to think about my faith in the creator and my current state. The water I preached and the bitter wine I was taking. I excused myself on claims that I was heading the urinal. I stood before that mirror for about 2minutes according to a drunkard time and I didn’t like the person standing on the other side of the mirror. I made up my mind that I was heading back home.

My watch was reading 2:43am and I was standing in front of my door trying to open it. After a fierce struggle, the battle was won and I was finally inside. My girl was really mad at me. She had informed me that she was coming and I had lied to her that would be there latest at 10:30pm. She had done the cooking and cleaning and had waited like forever. I could have called or sent a text to let her know that I would be late. Maybe she couldn’t be this mad at me. I moved slowly not to wake her up and decided that I was going to sleep at the edge of the bed unnoticed. She pretends she didn’t notice and am very proud of myself almost feeling like a genius.

I don’t like the taste of vomit in my mouth. I hate the whole process but here I am in the toilet doing what I hate. I have tried to sleep for barely 30minutes but my head could not let me. I wait longer in the toilet to finish the whole thing. I have a spinning head and more problems than a tailor putting threads through needles. I can’t think straight. I start feeling like I will not make it past the next day. Something tells me to write my will on paper in case I do not make it. I look around and the truth hits me. I don’t have much to will to anyone. This little could hardly give me a proper burial. I feel sorry for my poor soul and feel like crying but I hardly shade any tear. My eyes are really dry and not event a sign of wet eyes is available. I rinse my mouth with cold water and head back to bed to try and get some sleep.

Something tells me to write my will on paper in case I do not make it. I look around and the truth hits me. I don’t have much to will to anyone. This little could hardly give me a proper burial

I tried opening my eyes but these sun rays aren’t making it easy for me. It then hit me that I was supposed to report to work by 8:30am. I look at the clock and it’s like 7minutes to noon. My woman left in the morning, ain’t sure to work or church or where. I do not know where to start from. I have a terrible headache and a hungry stomach. My saliva tastes bitter I can’t stand this foully smell from my mouth. I enter the bathroom and turn on the shower. I allow cold water on me in an attempt to freshening up. I am afraid to look at my phone because I am convinced that I will find missed calls from my boss or supervisor. I start thinking of my problems and how I am going to go about them. I am bothered about 3 things. I cannot find a way to apologize to my creator and asking him for another chance in his kingdom. I have voices in my head telling me how I will burn in hell if I don’t get right with him. My job is at stake if my boss finds out the truth about the entire situation and my relationship with my wife to be is at crossroads. I would have called Johnny and asked him how I was to handle such a situation but I was sure he would get me into more trouble.

I have a pen and a note book in my hand trying to find ideas on how to escape this mess. I am thinking hard on a hungry stomach and an aching head when my phone plays a message tone. It could be my boss or my supervisor or ghosts from last night haunting me. I gather guts and decide to check the message, throwing all care to the wind. It’s from a strange number. I take a deep breath and tapped on open.

“Hello…”Hi it’s Jane. I really enjoyed spending some time with you yesterday at Regan’s birthday and was thinking if we could do it again tonight. Just you and I… a million kisses”