The floor is freezing and I have this chilly feeling developing underneath my feet. A wool carpet would do me some good but I first have to get to the sitting room. The dark is gathering around me and I just cannot keep it off. My eyes have to remain open through the night. If only there wasn’t a blackout. If the weather was calm and no scary noises of the cats on the roof, I could have ignored my fears to sleep. The lightening flashes and there is this thunderous sound from the sky. There are shadows in the dark. They must be ghosts sent to take me to the after life. I could sink inside my blanket but still dark inside. I close my eyes to say a silent prayer but the same images follow me. They are laughing and getting themselves ready to prey on my troubled soul.
I say the Lords prayer, “Our father who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. …. I am distracted and I open my eyes. I, I and I alone in the terror of the night have to do it all over again. This time without closing my eyes, I will have to recite our Lords prayer. A wave of escape plans is blowing in my mind. How about playing music from my phone? That’s a brilliant idea. With earphones in my ears, lovely music will soothe my scared heart to falling asleep. I stretch my right hand to a small table beside the bed and pick the earphones. Curses!! It indicates battery low. How could I have forgotten to charge it? I could have used my power bank if only I had recalled charging it.
The wind outside the streets blows strongly in a seemingly quarrelsome voice. Looks like an abandoned street outside the window. Nothing suggests any human existence. They say that when you are about to die, your life flashes before your eyes. If this is true, then I have already died a thousand deaths already. Each night when I close my eyes I picture my life in flashes of camera shots. Thoughts of those that closed there eyes in sleep and never woke up in the next day are allover my mind. Am scared to blink for it might be my last. I say a silent prayer, “Thank you Lord for loving me this much. I know that I am a sinner and do not deserve your affection. I have sinned passionately and strayed from thy path knowingly. Have mercy on me O Lord. Send thy angel O Lord to look after thy creation through this night. As I close my eyes this night, transform me to a new creature. One that will love you and keep thy commandments as you instructed in the Good book. In the name of your Son Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
My heart calms down and tears start to cloud my eyes. Tears of liberation, freedom and transformation start to flow. I let myself cry like never before. I could feel all my burdens washed away. I closed my eyes to a peaceful night I ever had in 976 weeks. I knew that I was a changed man and never will I ever be the same man again.
This is my story.